A Day In the Life of Joan Rivers
I walk into my latest plastic surgery consultation. My nose isn't quite
fitting my face anymore due to my new jawline. Goodness, the people in
this waiting room just don't know how to dress themselves do they? What is
with the lumpy knitted sweaters? My Prada pumps click on the wooden floor as I
walk to Dr. Wilson's office. He argues that my face can't handle anymore
plastic surgery. I tell him he will lose a patient if he won't do the surgery.
I walk out of the office into my limo feeling accomplished. Off to work. The E!
offices are busy this sunny L.A. day. Many people stop and stare as I walk to
the Fashion Police set. I change outfits and have my makeup and hair done. I
can never wear the same look twice. After hours of insulting people's bad fashion
sense, I head home to get ready for a Red Carpet event. I dress in a long,
elegant black gown with a fitted white blazer. Yes, I am a fabulous 81 year
old. All of the supermodels, actresses, and even Kardashians fight to talk to
me. Apparently I am a huge fashion leader in this industry. I have a few bland
conversations with poorly dressed rich women and party with Giulianna Rancic
for hours. She is one of the few people I actually like. She dresses up to par.
I head home, remove my makeup, and dress in silk Chanel button down pajamas.
Tomorrow is the day I get my new new nose!
